Have you ever heard a demon screech or the sound of Heaven through the songs of His saints?
It is terrible and beautiful to realize we are not alone here.
I have felt so disconnected at points and so close at others. I can feel the wonders of God's presence one instant and another I can feel nothing at all. My heart longs to be in communion with His always, but my sinful flesh keeps us apart.
Can I, will I ever forsake it all for the love of Christ? This question stands in the divide feasting on my soul.
Death for my king sounds like a glorious thing, but then I consider the cost. Jesus' death was not a quick ascent. He was stripped of His dignity, beaten, crucified while enduring the torture of all the sin, pain, shame, and guilt of the world, God-forsaken, but still faithfully obedient through it all. Steven was stoned. John was beheaded and disgraced. Peter was crucified upside-down because he did not see himself worthy of dying in a fashion similar to the Lord.
All of these persecutions are brutal but fleeting. For at the conclusion, these martyrs are rewarded a place in their true home. Living a life of death, I think, poses an equally difficult challenge. Dying to yourself, your family, your friends, your possesions is utterly painstakingly difficult because the promised prize is still so far in the distance. This is the type of death that goes on and on and must be relived daily.
We are called to be living fully in and to Christ, and at the same time fully dead to this world.
It's a tall order, but it's from God. I can't deny it, but I am not sure I can accomplish it either. Not alone anyways, but I am not alone.
Love and Peace Always,
Nadia
P.S> Pictures to come soon. Promise.. I just don't want to load them to these itty bitty computers. But, I do like the miniatures. Also, I love the music around me.
